I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
