are you still at the devil's house?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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