is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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