shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
