grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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