As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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