At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
