we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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