I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
