Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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