FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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