I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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