okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
