It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
