u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
