Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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