if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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