tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
