So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
