I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have aggressive nipples.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
