I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
