Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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