Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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