Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
