Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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