Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.

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(909): View more from California

how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.

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(917): View more from New York City

im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer

(919): View more from North Carolina

Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can

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(406): View more from Montana

And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"

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(214): View more from Texas

That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?

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