Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Buhtt sex?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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