i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize