I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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