The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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