I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
