Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
