Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
