If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
