and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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