Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
