It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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