She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
