I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
