This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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