I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
