she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
