get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You may now shotgun with the bride
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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