I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
