I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
