I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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