wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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