speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
