Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
not ubering you a puppy
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
