so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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