the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
then he tried to convert me to islam
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
