Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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