Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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