I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
