he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
