the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
