what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
