CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
