Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
