She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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