Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize