Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i out mim tonsoeep
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