Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
