its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize