I need help removing her.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
