Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
