woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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